Making of Chihiro⑤：Determination

So, I told Candice that I love her. But… her answer was ‘NO’.

I can’t hold your hands. Also, I feel sorry for your parents.

She said so as she knows how Japanese society works really well.
―If we walk holding our hands, colleagues can notice our relationship.
―Our parents or acquaintances would not understand ‘homosexuality’.
―Same sex marriage is not legally allowed in Japan.

But, I didn’t want to give up my love.

Please trust me, I’ll change the situation.

I told her this again and again, thinking about what I could do.

And I reached to a conclusion that in Japan we are rarely able to see ‘ordinary’ LGBT+ people (= not celebrities on TV but common people such as people who sit next to you on train) . If such people become more visible, we can walk holding our hands without fear, we can help each other more easily, and Japanese society would allow same sex marriage. In the end, I became public servant as I wanted to create a society where everyone can live happily.

So, I decided to be the first person who comes out publicly as Japanese public servant and start this blog to vocalize my feelings. Based on this determination of mine, Candice finally accepted my love.

I don’t know what will wait for us in the future. Sometimes I feel frightened. Recently, one of the readers of this blog said to me that I shouldn’t claim my ‘private happiness’ as I am a public servant. When I told my mother about my determination she cried, saying she wanted grandchild. Every time I walk with Candice holding her hand, people look at us like unusual animals at zoo.

But, I want to hold her hand forever.
Therefore, I write this blog today, tomorrow, and so on.