Making of Chihiro④： Encounter with Candice

Being enchanted by Ms. Raja, I wanted to talk with someone and found a fan on social media. That’s Candice. We talked about many things… not only about Ms. Raja but also about our feelings and experiences about gender. I didn’t know why, but I could talk anything with her without hesitation.

One day, I told her that I haven’t fallen in love with anyone. I enjoyed talking and eating with people but I felt gross when I thought about the possibilities of physical contacts with them (such as holding hands or kissing). Whenever I told this to other people, I was always told like:
‘You just don’t know true love.’
‘Men love touching, so, you should endure.’

But, Candice said:
‘Then, I think you are demisexual (a person sexually attracted to people only after a strong emotional bond has been formed).’
I felt as if the scales fall from my eyes.

Like that, she has always shown me ‘outside the box’. So… it was not long before I got attracted by her. First, I hesitated as I believed I would love men. But then, I realized such thinking (‘I should love men as I am a woman’) is nothing more than ‘inside the box’. So, I admitted my love with her, my desire to hold her hands… and kiss her red lips.

*After that, I read many books and now think I am pansexual.