Still, Silent, Stagnated- That’s My Coming Out

This August, I came out my sexuality (being pansexual and having girlfriend) to my colleagues. I was determined but at the same time really nervous about it. Maybe their attitudes drastically change. Maybe they start to avoid me. Maybe they… 

And… it is October now. To put it shortly, nothing has changed since my coming out- due to COVID.

Before this pandemic, Japanese working style inevitably includes close relationships between colleagues. As overworking is really common in Japan, we spend a lot of time together. So, it is better to have a good relationship with your colleagues otherwise you would be really lonely. We used to share private information a lot- such as whether having a partner or not. This is why I was so anxious- I was afraid that my colleagues may no more want to talk with me due to my ‘unordinary’ sexuality.

But… COVID changed everything. Nowadays, we avoid talking in our workplace. So… we rarely exchange our private information. This is easy-going situation for me as a sexual minority but at the same time really difficult situation as my coming out- which needed so much courage- becomes void.

Therefore… these days, I am continuously thinking about ways to overcome this still, silent, and stagnated situation. No matter how easy-going it is, what I want is to be visible. Time to change, Chihiro!